Man's Nightmare

Today i had a clinic attachment for flexible cystoscopy. Basically it's a routine follow up for patients who had previous bladder cancer or patients who have any problems with their urinary tract.

So what the doctor will do, is to insert a flexible camera down the urinary tract, and go up till it reaches the bladder. By then, the doctor will assess the surface of the bladder through the screen, take some biopsy if necessary.

It must be very uneasy for the patient to go through this procedure, but surprisingly only small numbers of patients will come in with anxiety. I asked the registrar how hard could it be for the patient to undergo this process, he answered, "why don't you have a try and tell me that?" Hell no....haha!

Everything seemed fine until the last patient came in. His prostatic part of the urethra was very narrowed, and the registrar couldn't push it through due to previous prostate cancer and scarring. Then the scariest thing came in, the 'dilator'. There were different sizes for the dilators, so the doctor started inserting the smallest size, then took it out and changed to a bigger size. Gosh, you will faint if you see how gory the procedure turned out to be. There was some bleeding and the patient was moaning in pain. But in the end, the doctor still unable to put in the camera, and required surgical help.

Whatever diseases i may get in the future, just hope it will not be related to my kidney or urinary tract.

Life

Few days ago when i was on acute shift, i talked to this patient who was 15 years old and tried to kill herself. She took 15 panadol and 3 aspirin and swallowed it down her throat. Apparently she was diagnosed with depression few years ago, so it was no surprise if she had the tendency to harm herself.

However, her granny didn't seem very happy to have me in the cubicle, so i couldn't take much history from her. I felt like just telling the family member to go out so that the patient could pour everything out to me, but i was too chicken to do so.

Ending a life at the age of 15, isn't too early to farewell this beautiful world? Clearly i can't understand a depressed person's feeling and emotion, hence my word can be bias or judgmental. But i can somehow imagine the dilemma and struggle of a growing teenager, simply because i was a teenager not long ago. It is a critical phase, and yet not many people enjoy going through it. I'm not saying that i had the idea of committing suicide when i was a teenager, in fact, my teenage life was great. At least there were some memories worth keeping.

Today while i was walking towards my school, i suddenly had the feeling of appreciating every single moment in my life. There might be times when everything isn't going as i wish, but i can't wait for the future me to look back and laugh at my current foolishness.

Sunny day with cold breeze, flowery park with children's laughter, a moment seen in today's botanical garden, making me feel like singing, "What a wonderful world....."

Happy Belated Birthday to my blog

My blog is 2 years old! Hooray! The actual birthday was last week, 11 of july. Just realized it after i msn-ed with caryn justnow. Oh ya, happy belated birthday to caryn's blog as well! Her blog is one year younger than mine, haha!

It's definitely an achievement to keep a blog alive for 2 years *self praise is no praise, hehe*. I know sometimes the content could be dry and boring. Thanks to all my readers for laying your eyes on this web page, by now you should have know that certainly i have no potential to become a writer, yet you still visit my blog, i really appreciate it.

For all the time we spent together in the past 2 years, cheerz!

Good Reason

Another reason to be a medical student: Get free prescription from consultant!

As you all know, i am doing General Medicine run currently. One of the thread is Dermatology, whereby we have tutorial and clinic session on wednesday.

Today after the tutorial finished, i went up to the consultant (as if i had question regarding the topic) and asked him to have a look on my face, which always suffer recurrent skin scaling +/- rashes. He looked, asked a few questions, touched a little bit and said, "follow me down to my office, i'll give you a prescription"

With the prescription, i got a tube of cream which only costs me $3, money saved! (duno the original price of the cream, but at least i saved the specialist consultation fee, hehe!)

Weekend anticipation

I have never appreciate weekend as much as i do now. It's such a precious time for me to recharge the depleting energy and do whatever i want to do, like wasting time...

Nothing much happened this week. Just finished one long case study and waiting to be marked. Gonna start another long case next week so soon as possible. Still haven't find any interesting case for my presentation. Still procrastinating my Maori and ethics assignments which due on september. Still wasting time....

Last Thursday, i attended my first 'video-conferencing' style lecture in my school. I know the technology already existed for ages, but i have never done it before, so i was quite impressed. For your information, University of Otago has 3 medical schools in new zealand, which are Wellington, Christchurch and Dunedin. On last Thursday, the plenary was delivered in Dunedin, but students from 3 schools attended it at the same time. From my lecture hall's screen, i could see a power point slide, the dunedin lecturer, wellington students and us. Pretty awesome huh! But the content was quite boring, almost fall asleep, hehe!

Have a nice weekend!

Friendly

Last friday when i was on acute night, i talked to this patient who originated from Holland. Of course i didn't pick it up from her accent, it was her husband who told me that when i explored her social history.

Before i ended the interview and left the cubicle, suddenly her husband stood up and asked me:

Husband: Are you from malaysia?
Me: *surprised* You reckon this because of my accent?
Husband: Oh no, it's because malaysian has a special feature and very friendly
Me: *puzzled* Is it?
Wife: *joined into our conversation* Oh yes, you can always see a big smile on a malaysian, unlike xxx(mentioned about one nation)....

Apparently they have a few friends from malaysia as well, but they are still having difficulty in distinguishing Borneo and Brunei, haha!

Moral of the story: Proud to be Malaysian

Work

As usual, after coming back from holiday, i feel it takes more energy of mine to initiate the momentum to get back to work. Is it because of ageing? Haha...

This week is the beginning of my second semester in new zealand. Can't believe half a year had gone, but everything here seems still fresh and new for me. I'm starting to doubt my adapting and coping ability, after all, this is my first year studying overseas, that's alright, i guess.

Current run that i'm doing in general medicine. According to most of the people, it is the hardest run, oh no.... Well, on the very first day, i had acute night, meaning the team that i attached to admit and take care most of the patients who came into ED. The good thing is the team members are very nice, the registrar is very willing to teach and the rest are very friendly.

Weekend is coming, hooray...But i am having post acute ward round on saturday morning *sob sob* Never mind, it is for the good course, and i must learn heaps on tomorrow acute night again.